Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Don`t worry. Your secret is safe with me. I wasn`t listening anyway.
Dropping a can of soda and sticking it back in the fridge all shaken up for the next person to open is not nearly as funny when you live by yourself.
A recent survey of one person revealed that 100% of me thinks I should skip work tomorrow.
Best of luck explaining why you’re still single at Thanksgiving and Charles Manson isn’t.
Reasons why I never let my girlfriend touch my phone. 1. I don`t have a girlfriend.
If I’ve learned anything in my twenty-two years on this earth, it’s that it’s okay to lie about your age.
If I had to choose between Star Wars and Star Trek, I`d probably choose beer.
Life is a constant battle between my love of food & not wanting to get fat.
If you are offended by the opinions I express you can only imagine the ones I keep to myself.
People with kids, your posts are all the birth control I need.
The reason grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup are such a great combination is because they are the same basic ingredients as pizza.
When I see something funny on the internet, I don’t usually laugh. I just blow more air out of my nose than usual.
The human body is amazing... You breathe in oxygen and it converts it into sarcasm.
U.S.A.... where people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet coke
I wonder if New York people find it weird to watch their own city being destroyed in Hollywood movies so many times..!!