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Monica & Chandler’s twins would be 9 this year, Pheobe’s triplets 14, Ben 18, and Emma 11. Let’s just take a moment to let that sink in.
I`m not sure why they gave all these other people cars.
What I learned in college 1.Water bottles are a great way to hide vodka. 2. When your thirsty in the morning you will regret #1.
I inject vodka right into the orange. Screwdriver-to-go
Behind every beautiful woman, is a beautiful behind.
Is somebody not editing what I´m saying here???
You could give me 45 years to do homework and I still wouldn’t do it until the night before.
Punctuality is a waste of time since no one is ever there to appreciate it.
Make Monday More Fun: Unplug the copier at work and put a sign on it that says “Now Voice Activated!” Sit back and watch the magic unfold..
An elderly woman at an ATM asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over. Yup, she needs a walker.
A fun thing to do is take a group picture at a party. Then leave & print it at Walgreens. Buy a frame, go back to party, & place it on the mantel at the party.
If you don`t like my facebook posts, feel free to delete me and solely visit your friends` pages where the big news of the day is when their grandkids finally took a $hit all by themselves.
Its so hot I used my blow dryer as a cooling fan!
90% of parenting is just screaming at your kids to stop screaming.
It is impossible to simultaneously keep up a) hope and b) with the Kardashians.