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I will not be satisfied until I see a car with one woman sticker and twelve cat stickers.
I get in this weird mood where I don`t want to talk to anybody and just want to be left alone. I call this mood `Awake`
Thought I saw a kangeroo today turned out to be a greyhound taking a dump !
Judging by all the cracking and popping noises my body makes when I work out, I`d say I`m about 74% Rice Krispies.
?"I hate when people come to MY house, knock on MY door, and then give me the "why aren`t you wearing pants" look."
Life is far too short to remove the USB safely.
It`s just adorable how the Liquor Store cashier always wishes me a good week as if I won`t be back tomorrow.
I`m tired of doing math. I guess I`ll get my lazy as up and fix my clocks today
If spiders ever come to the realization that people are terrified of them, we`re f*cked.
I finally found a simple and easy way to deal with my weight problem. I threw my scale out.
I wish I could match my dog`s excitement to go outside.
Just made eye contact with a guy while licking my lips ... I think I need to kill him now.
Marry someone who can cook. Love fades, hunger doesn`t.
Meaningless statistics are up 17% today
First you told me to be myself now you`re telling to me not be an idiot. Make up your mind woman!