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I hate when all the silverware is dirty and I`m down to using the giant decorative fork that hangs on the wall.
I kind of like it getting dark so early because it gives me a great excuse to just stay inside and watch TV.
More often than not, the excitement of a Facebook friend request dies upon discovering who it is.
To me, suicide seems selfish. For all I know, someone else might want to kill me
Marriage is something you should pay for and divorce should be free. You might think twice before buying into it.
I wonder if the clouds ever look down on us and say "Hey look! ...that one`s shaped like an idiot!"?
I think there are great benefits in remaining strangers.
And by "whatever" I mean f*ck you.
there`s a fine line between "cocky" and "confidence"...and it just so happens I have perfect balance!
I`m a passionate supporter of things that don`t inconvenience me or require any type of action or physical effort.
Walking past a new employee`s desk & yelling, "Do you think it`s a good idea to be surfing porn on your first day?" will never get old.
I didn`t mean to offend you, that was just a bonus.
How can I be expected to make life choices when I still use my fingers to count?
A woman’s anger is like a check engine light; there’s no pleasant way to determine what caused it, so just ignore it and hope it goes away.
doesn`t need any help being bad but u can come along for the ride if your up for it.