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Honestly, I have no idea what the f*ck I`ll do with 5 hours of energy.
Just once I`d like to yell, "Don`t you know who I am?!" because I`m important, not because I`m drunk and actually forgot.
I believe pizza delivery cars should be allowed to use sirens
Smile, it confuses people. ;)
I neither like nor want to date Taylor Swift, but I know at some point it’ll just be my turn.
All I heard was, " I swear it`ll be funny" and then we were in jail.
A man typed in search box on Google : “What do women want?”. Google Replied : “We are also searching…”
I was gonna call you... but I`m still sober.
I`m off to get my beauty sleep. Yeah, I know...I`m already so beautiful you can`t stand it! I promise...a little more isn`t lethal...yet! ;) Goodnight!
What do bats eat that makes their sh!t our standard for crazy?
Yes, it`s a bad time. Let me call you back when I`m not feeling so honest.
I have company coming, does a spork go on the right or left side?
Not only am I a master of suspense, but I
Sharks aren’t so bad. If some stranger entered my house wearing only a Speedo, I would probably attack him too.
From what I can piece together, this Pitbull character enjoys "partying"