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If Scientists invent a pill to make us immortal, I guarantee I`d choke to death swallowing it.
feels like getting some work done ... so I am sitting down until the feeling passes.
I purposely bought the same grill my neighbor has, so every time it needs to be cleaned, I just switch them at night.
All the coffee in Colombia couldn`t make me a morning person.
If a man says something in the woods.. And there are no women there.. Is he still wrong? O_o
This prefessor`s nuts. He keeps saying pie is square. I know better, pies are round, cakes are square!
Whenever there is an awkward silence try whispering, "Did you forget your line?"
I eat tacos over a tortilla so that way when stuff falls out Boom another taco.
“True beauty is within” for example opening your fridge.
Was the little pig who built his house out of straw some sort of idiot?
If all the worlds a stage and the men and women merely players, how come Justin Bieber gets all the airtime?
When nobody`s home, I tighten the top to every jar and bottle in the house.
You heard me right. I said:"Lets agree to disagree." It`s much more polite than:"Whatever, bitch."
snooze button, becuase all I need after 8 hours of sleep, is a nap
Why is there an eject button on the DVD remote? You still have to get up & take the disc out. It`s like having a remote to open the fridge.