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I decided I`m going to be poor... Its Cheaper :)
If I wasn`t supposed to have vodka for breakfast they shouldn`t have made it taste so good with orange juice.
I don`t care how much you like the soap. Never leave a public restroom smelling your fingers.
To those of you who received a book from me as a Christmas present: just to let you know that they are due back at the library tomorrow.
In the 1960s, if you said "All my music is in the cloud" it was due to mushrooms; not Apple.
I`m fortunate that anger and nicotine have zero calories.
Ohh sh!t, my b!tch button is stuck.
The only thing worse than having it rain after you wash your car is have to poop as soon as you get out of the shower.
Just saw 2 homeless guys hitting eachother with cardboard... PILLOW FIGHT!
Iām not sure why, but to me Cheerios sound like the happiest of all circular shaped cereals.
What I lack in sex appeal I make up in staying home and drinking.
Good for you, people that do things.
There are plenty of fish in the sea ...That`s cool and all....but I`m a human.
I`m the type of person that will burst out laughing in dead silence over something that happened days ago.
I got Mood Poisoning. Must have been something I hate.