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I can`t wait for the day when my kids are old enough that I can drink with them and not because of them.
The best moments in life are simple… you know like when you sit down and get comfy and the remote is magically next to you.
Whenever I screw up at work, I`m so glad I`m not a doctor.
Tire rotation? Nice try, mechanic! I rotated my tires like a thousand times on the drive over here.
i don`t care if u don`t like me ........... i am not a facebook status:D
I like to spend Monday morning trying to remember what I was avoiding doing at work on Friday.
If I am home alone, there`s a 99% chance I`m naked.
It doesn`t matter if the shoe fits or not, I`m still shoving it up your a$$.
If you think about it,, Batman was pretty lazy about naming all his stuff.
I just ran a .003048K
I just read an article about the dangers of drinking that scared the crap out of me. That`s it. No more reading!
When I was a kid...no wait, I still do that.
I hate fake people...especially the ones at the mall advertising clothes in front of the stores
MARRIAGE TIP: Don`t get fat.
Did you know that if we laid all the facebook account owners end to end around the world. Three quarters of them would Drown? Hmm ....