Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Doctor told me I need glasses. So I`m having several tonite.
Why is it that people who drink energy drinks seem like the people with the least amount of stuff going on?
If you ever question yourself, your life choices, your sanity...just watch an episode of Hoarders and you`ll be all good.
I poured some shampoo over my speakers today and they blew up... So much for EXTRA VOLUME.
Do women who complain about never getting laid know about men?
I hate it when my fat makes me look fat.
Head & Shoulders needs to come out with a body spray that will help repel flakey people from my life.
The Discovery Channel should be on a different channel every day.
The only thing I drink from a shot glass nowdays is Maalox.
Fun Fact: You can win all arguments with your man by putting on yoga pants and walking away.
The best way to get over someone is probably with your car
"Don`t cry because its over, smile because his new girlfriend looks like a horse."
Drinking doesn’t make me post better Facebook status updates; it just makes me not care what you think of them…
If you boil a clown, do you get laughing stock?
I just don`t get life insurance. Why would I want to give my family a financial incentive to kill me?