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Honesty is the best policy, but insanity makes for a better legal defense.
" a fool and his money ----- are never around when you need a loan......"
My method of going "offline" in FB chat is to simply ignore you.
Highway to Hell is a great song because you can play it at both your wedding and your funeral.
My greatest achievement today was writing this status.
All I`m saying is why blame it on being lazy when you can blame it on being old...
I hate it when people are holding a device capable of using google and they ask me stupid questions.
Sometimes the smartest thing you can do is play dumb.
Life gets expensive when you trust a cute woman.
When I said I missed you, I meant with a hammer.
Winter is filled with men trying to figure out the least feminine way to apply chapstick.
I don`t understand when people say `age is just a number`... Age is clearly a word.
you know what`s funny? Obviously neither do I or I would have posted it.
Once you get past my charm, good looks, intelligence and my sense of humor, I think it’s my modesty that stands out.
You don`t have to drink to have fun... Just have fun drinking!