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This debt collector was just so surprised I answered my phone that they stuttered and hung-up lmao!!
The irony of social media is that the majority of users are all alone.
I went to the store and saw that Duracell batteries were on sale just before Valentine`s Day. Someone is a marketing genius.
You never really know a woman, until she takes you to court.
I mean really though...Why wash cups when you can just drink out of the jug?
I wish I was as fat as the first time I thought I was fat.
Anyone else think there should be a sarcasm font?
There are four main food groups: 1. Canned 2. Frozen 3. Fried 4. Drive-thru
An egg salad is really just a chicken salad that is really underdone.
Just found my TV remote and a newspaper in my fridge. It`s pretty awesome that society lets me live by myself.
Never underestimate a woman`s ability to make you feel responsible and guilty for her mistakes.
I google myself sometimes just to know what the hell I`m up to. ;)
Nothing sadder than the look on my dogs face when I drop food from the table and they realize it`s lettuce.
Got kicked out of the casino again. Apparently, gold chocolate coins mess up their slot machines or something.
I feel sorry for people who take everything way too seriously.