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Diet goal: I want to lose just enough so that my hand will fit comfortably in a Pringles can...
Relationship status: Don`t tell me to calm down! You called a stormtrooper a robot!
i dont normally have a cool facebook status, but when i do, an older relative spoils it with a lame comment.
Girls don`t dress for guys, they dress for themselves. If they dressed for guys they would be naked all the time
so, on a scale of one is to seven, which letter of the alphebet is your favourite colour?
I like when videogames limit how many things you can hold. "You have 100 items in an invisible bag. Carrying another would be unrealistic"
I can`t wait for Taylor Swift to break up with a black guy, so she can write a rap album!
Why,does facebook want to make the likes one gets on their status like a story,like:peter and 500 others like this,click and see james and 499 others like this............
Vodka: Taking you from a 6 to a 10 in five easy shots
Behind every good selfie is approximately 47 nearly identical pictures that didn`t make the cut.
My wife wrote an email to me saying she was concerned that we have communications issues. I immediately sent an IM asking her to clarify. She messaged me on Facebook saying not to worry but that sometimes we’re not as connected as she’d like. I tweeted her that I love her more than anything. She texted me that she loves me too and sent me a poem on Pinterest explaining how tired she was after a long day of work leading to her email. So I leaned over and kissed her good night.
My idea of drinking responsibly is using a coaster.
Suggested serving size is only for skinny people right?
Women are like bacon: they look good, they smell good, they taste good, and they will slowly kill you
Sex, drugs and candy crush all have one thing in common. It`s only an addiction if you start paying for it.