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Urban Dictionary has saved me from asking so many awkward questions.
This post is just for you.
New College Admissions Test ______ not getting into this college: A. Your B. Ur C. You`re D. U`re
why me is me ?
Summer: Hair gets lighter. Skin gets darker. Water gets warmer. Drinks get colder. Music gets louder. Nights get longer. Life gets better.
If I agreed with you weΒ΄d both be wrong.
thinks we need to think like a first grade teacher and separate Romney and Gingrich next time they debate!
If a Police Officer says, Anything you say will be taken down & used as evidence... Your answer should always be, Please don`t hit me again officer...
I only hate the people in front of me while checking out at the store. Everyone behind me is cool.
For once in my life, Iβd like to get up in the morning and be as excited about it as my p@nis is.
I could totally handle twins, triplets even quadruplets. Hold it, you`re talking about BABIES?
There are two key elements to success. 1) Never tell anyone everything you know.
Donβt cry because itβs over. Smile because your fingerprints arenβt in the database.
Mix it up a little. Text a random phone number the following msg: "The fat one won`t fit into the woodchipper. What do you want me to do?"
Me: "Sorry I`m late. Car trouble." Him: "What kind of car trouble?" Me: "It doesn`t go 200 miles an hour to compensate for my late start."