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Iād be more motivated to work out if the stationary bikes had a little basket to hold my snacks and beer.
Lady at my gym is pedaling a stationary bike while eating chips right out of the bag. I`m hiring her as my personal trainer.
Why is it that everyone you hate has such a better job than you?
You know it`s good advice, when your still confused afterwards.
You know you`re a bad driver when Siri says, " In 400 feet, stop and let me out".
My brain is giving me the silent treatment
When you screw up, menopause can be a wonderful excuse for stupid things you do or say!!!
thinks that decaffeinated coffee is just useless brown water.
Don`t forget to get offended today by some retarded sh!t that has absolutely no bearing on your life whatsoever.
You know you are getting old when people keep telling you how young you look.
Long time ago I used to be young and handsome.. Today? Just handsome
I saw a sign that said "watch for children" and I thought "that`s a fair trade."
I love all religions. They bring holidays .
Don`t forget to get your hurricane glasses before looking at it.
They always say "love makes the world go around"... They spelled beer wrong.