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Ever since I heard that women have one breast bigger than the other, it`s given me another reason to stare.
It`s a beautiful day, think I`ll skip my meds and stir things up a bit.
You should never lie through your teeth. Open your mouth and speak properly.
Remember…it’s only embarrassing if you care what people think.
My mother is the strongest woman I know. You should see how far she could throw a shoe.
Apparently, all those good looking people in the swimsuit catalogs go to a different beach than I do.
I`m sending a whole bunch of emails to random Nigerians letting them know they`ve won the Canadian lottery.
Good news: I finally got my computer connected to the wireless printer. Bad news: not sure which house I need to go to get my documents.
I call it a Cupcake Salad. And I don`t see how it`s any of your business.
Honey, You really don`t need to drive me crazy, I am close enough to walk.
“Star Wars” fans are very upset that the story line of the upcoming new “Star Wars” movie has been leaked. Apparently the movie starts with R2-D2, Chewbacca, and Han
The problem with coffee is trying to make it when you haven`t had any yet.
Some people live life in the fast lane. You’re in oncoming traffic.
Whenever a wrong number calls me and hangs up I always call em back and tell them it was their loss because I`m really fun to talk to.
It must suck to be an air conditioner repairman. You spend your day working in buildings that have no air conditioning. When it`s fixed and finally cool, you leave.