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So how long before GoFundMe is our nation`s leading health care provider?
I wonder how many strangers have stories about me.
I wake up every morning with the joy & excitement of wanting to go directly back to sleep.
Its funny how your friends change , Meet new people and forget about you . :( But just know i`ll still be in your heart?
When your girlfriend says do what ever you want. Do not do what ever you want!
I wish "it`s the thought that counts" worked for housework.
Facebook prank #23 Go in everynight and change your birthday to the next day...then see how long it takes for people to catch on....
When a movie says "Based on a true story." it means this is sort of what happened but with way uglier people.
Holy sh!t! I just opened a bag of cheddar and sour cream Ruffles and one of the chips was plain. This is a sign, man. God is going to smite all of us f*ckers with his wrath and send us to all to burn in the eternal flames of... Sorry. Just one side of the chip was plain. Carry on.
Okay im going to make myself a sandwich, and i better have some votes when i come back. -.-
Haters gunna hate,potatoes gunna patate!!
Anybody wanna go halfsies on an orgasm?
I don`t understand why people want a relationship when there`s pizza.
You`re more inbred than sandwhich filler.
I think my iPhone is broken. I pressed the home button and Iām still at work.