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Question : if you fart at the gym can people wearing headphones still smell it? Asking for a friend
Why didn`t Spider-Man`s enemies just move to a city without skyscrapers?
I wish I lived in a glass house, those people seem to have a lot of fun...
The best part about being at work on Friday is that it gives me 9 hours to figure out what I`m going to drink tonight.
The light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off due to budget cuts.
you know what sucks about being a "chubby guy"....when your girlfriend wants to play with YOUR boobs :)
There`s a sense of great satisfaction when I`m the tie breaker between `Funny` and `Not Funny` status updates.
No one`s lazier than the guy who came up with the name for Juicy Juice.
For every idiot proof system devised, a new and improved idiot will arise to overcome it.
I always try to learn from the mistakes of other people..... who have taken my advice
You ever read a status, and you`re like, `what a f*ck up` and then you realize you`re on your own page?
They say a dog can retrieve a tennis ball from over a mile away. Seems a bit far fetched to me.
Ever since I installed AdBlock, all the single ladies in my area seemed to have lost interest.
I finally saw Kung Fu Panda. I`m certainly not an expert, but I thought the nunchuck scene looked kind of fake.
We all have that one friend who needs to learn how to whisper