Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I’m gonna make this girl mine….. Right click, Save As….
Sometimes all you need, is 500 million dollars.
To a woman, sexual harassment is when a man makes advances towards her. If a woman makes advances towards a man, we call that getting lucky.
only fights if pillows are present.
Sorry for illegally downloading your music, guy who mostly makes songs about doing crime.
When in doubt, take a nap.
I met this girl in a club last night, I think she’s a body builder. She just so happened to build hers using chips.
On my bucket list: To be chased through a kitchen at a Chinese restaurant like in the movies.
Did the Baha Men ever find their dogs? Did they put up posters or just sing that song?
Ladies: if you argue with your man naked, you will win every single time.
I don`t normally poop with the door open, but I don`t want to miss the in flight movie
At what age is it appropriate to tell my friends that they`re imaginary?
Every selfie you post should come stamped with a number like a limited edition print. "Attempt 7 of 25".
Do not worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older it will avoid you.
Actually told a girl who`s moving to France soon that "there`s lots of French people over there". It`s a wonder how I can even bathe myself.