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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

It`s all about perspective. The sinking of the Titanic was a miracle to the lobsters in the ship`s kitchen.
I often worry that mankind is going to start World War III soley because we enjoy trilogies.
Apparently when my math teacher asked `what comes after 69` "I DO" was not the correct answer.
I didn`t want to grow up; I just wanted to be able to reach for the cookies.
when i have children im going to make them watch 2012 and tell them i survived all of that.
Worrying is a waste of time. It doesn’t change anything. It messes with your mind & steals your happiness.
make little things count. teach midgets math.
There’s literally no way to know how many chameleons are in your house.
Any person can be nice to my face, but it takes a real friend to be nice behind my back.
We Should Have A Way Of Telling People Their Breath Stinks Without Hurting Their Feelings. Like: "I`m bored, let`s go brush our teeth"
I wish Monday was a figment of my imagination.
To a musician, a g-string means something completely different than it does to me. .
If a group of midgets performed the YMCA song, it is to be considered that they did it in lowercase?
I love facebook because it helps me remember what I did the night before when I blacked out.
Ok everyone enough of your "family" time, come back to the internet. We are your real family.