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Tattoos are like potato chips. You can`t have just one.
I was addicted to the Hokey Pokey but I turned myself around.
The Swiss must`ve been pretty confident in their chances of victory if they included a corkscrew in their army knife.
Olive Garden says “When you’re here you’re family”, how could they expect me NOT to think I’m entitled to a free meal.
These police take Hide and Seek really seriously.
I`m single by choice. Not MY choice. But it`s still a choice
Man what a day. I pulled my groin...for like 20 minutes.
why me is me ?
Looking forward to `Breaking Bad` merchandise. Especially the cook book.
The best job ever? Sleeping Beauty at Disney World. You just lay down all day. If anyone bothers you, it’s like excuse me, I’m working here.
I wish my life had background music so I could figure out what the hell is going on.
Why can`t life be as easy as I am?
Most of the lies I tell aren`t even true.
They need to put more spider poison in hairspray.
If I lived everyday like it was my last, the body count would be staggering.