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Never look back. That’s where all the monsters are.
Spinning in circles to get dizzy as a child was my first attempt at getting high.
Ugly people who live in glass houses…shouldn`t live in glass houses.
Some of us learn from the mistakes of others; the rest of us have to be the others.
I`m as conflicted as a strip club addict with a glitter allergy.
All I`m saying is that if you were a real psychic palm reader you would of made me wash my hands first.
Haiku`s confuse me / Too often they make no sense / Hand me the pliers
Touch my food and suffer the consequences.
No one ever reads the rules of Monopoly unless an argument breaks out.
Who decided that the abbreviation for pound should be two letters not in the word?
I DON`T HATE YOU,I`M JUST NOT NECESSARILY EXCITED ABOUT YOUR EXISTENCE!
As I slowly ran my finger down her G string I thought to myself, this is a nice guitar.
Just sneezed 8 times in a row and saw the entrance to Narnia for a split second.
A newly wed guy asked me about marriage. I told him it`s sort of like a museum. You have to be quiet and you can`t really touch anything.
I see dead people. Well technically they`re stupid people, but give me a few minutes