Daily Silly Status

I`m getting a mistletoe tramp stamp.

If you wear cowboy clothes, are you ranch dressing?

Ran into the girl who broke my heart. Totally worth the damage to my car.

Cubic Zirconium`s slogan should be: Guys can fake it too!

Dancing in the 70`s: I have absolutely no idea what I am pointing at

Went to the virgin islands, now they are just the islands.

I`m just standing here...50 yards away, waiting for the restraining order to expire.

Here walk a mile in my shoes. They`re giving me huge blisters.

It deosn’t mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer are in the rghit pcale. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a pobelrm. Tihs is buseace the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Tihs wulod not be psibsole if yuor sutipd. I hpoe for yuor skae you wree albe to raed tihs or taht maens yuor an idoit or barin dmagaed.

I`m not saying I can perform miracles or anything, but when the Taco Bell employee isn`t looking,, I can turn water into Sprite.

All I`m saying is if I`m not allowed to give a monkey a gun at the zoo they should have a sign.

A good way to mess with a jogger is to run up along side them and say "I think we lost them."

There are 15 year olds skating in the Olympics and I can’t even walk down my driveway in winter.

Keep the dream alive, hit the snooze button.

Defies physics: I eat half a pound of food, `purge` 1 pound of it, and then gain five pounds because of it-- WTF?