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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

Nobody really owns tupperware. We are all just really borrowing it from one another.
Success sleeps with u in private. Failure insults u in public ! Aa
*Gets absolutely nothing done*… Welp time for a break.
Shout out to the guy behind me flashing red & blue lights.
Running is the best way to remind yourself how much you love sitting.
Damn you auto correct mind your business.
I`m alone in my car ... Counting it as a vacation.
My New Years Resolution for 2015 is to stop being so impatient.
I woke up praying McDonald`s would still be serving breakfast but I just missed it by 6 hours.
am I the only one who would beat the sh!t out of someone for wearing a "forever lazy" to a tailgate?
"LSD causes users to lose weight" Obviously. You can`t eat when a dragon is guarding the fridge.
I embraced my inner child today and the lil` bastard bit me!
It`s nice that my vacuum has a headlight just in case I want to clean in the dark or wake my dog up thinking he`s getting hit by a train.
Shoplifting may be wrong in a general sense, but what if, for example, I`m bored of paying for things
Dropped my son off for his first day of kindergarten today. Does anybody know what age you`re supposed to pick them up?