Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Why are people sad when potatoes can be cooked in like 200 ways?
Imagine how bad it would be if everyone could hear what you were thinking.
thinks the voices in my head are out of beer.
Limbo champion walks into a bar...he`s disqualified.
What kind of jerk makes an anti-anxiety pill difficult to break in half?
The worst part about being alone is I don`t have anyone to get me a beer from the fridge.
If God is a woman then how do you explain: 1) Spiders 2) Shoes you can`t afford 3) Periods 4) Men
Is it sexual harasment to say ho ho ho to a female coworker?
I don`t care if its a scam! Just the fact that the Prince of Nigeria sends me personal email makes me feel special!
The police want to interview me. Strange, I didn`t even apply for a job there.
If I can’t act weird around you, I’m sorry we can’t be friends.
Bacon is the only exception that does not fall under the 5 second rule for dropped food.
Let’s just call a vacation what it is: the opportunity to live like an alcoholic for a little while.
God: Is there anything else you need Adam? Adam: yes I want a Sandwich! God: Ok let`s create eve.
My 5 year plan is to watch Netflix. All of it.