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So when a couple gets engaged on Facebook for April Fools it`s okay to comment "hahaha" but the rest of the year it`s rude??
I FINALLY "friended" my girlfriend on Facebook.. You know.. So I could get updates on our relationship status.. :|
Some people might as well post ‘Wants Attention’ as their Facebook status.
"We have smaller, secret pants that we wear under our normal pants..." - me explaining underwear to aliens.
When someone ask me... How are you?... I answer back... You mean in bed?
Just quit my job so I can spend more quality time giving out candy crush extra lives.
I was at the pool today and tried to sneak a quick pee in the deep end. The lifeguard must have seen me. He blew his whistle so loud that I almost fell in.
People are like slinkeys; they don’t really serve a purpose, but you can’t help but laugh when one of them falls down the stairs.
You had me at "do we need to stop at the liquor store on the way to your place"
I don’t care how loud I’m laughing, I’m having fun and you’re not.
Mirrors don`t lie. Lucky for you, they don`t laugh either.
I`m not saying my ex wasn`t pretty, but every time my wallet got stolen the thief would return her picture.
Lessons learned from last night: There is no such thing as a goalie in darts.
Did you guys know that turning up the radio fixes almost all your car problems?! Crazy.
Is your drama going to have an intermission soon? I need to pee.