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Fun thing to do: Go to a parking lot and put sticky notes on peoples cars saying "sorry for the damage" and watch them look for it
Secret Admirers are just stalkers with good PR.
I dare you to spit on this status.
Why is it called a menstrual calendar and not an egg timer?
One of the benefits of eating healthier is that you never have to ask questions like, “Who ate my kale?”
It`s everyone`s favorite holiday season where we try to guess if that was a firework or gunshot
your status deserves a standing ovation but I`m lazy I`ll just click `like`
Hey micky you`re so fine, you`re so fine you blow my mind hey micky! hey micky! Admit it, you didnt read it, you sang it
It`s a small world, but I wouldn`t want to paint it.
I snuck popcorn into the movie theater but they won’t let me use their microwave.
I don`t think the guy below me understands how this works.
If you want to pick up girls ....Keep your back straight and lift with your knees.
I`m the type of person who will throw away the manual and ponder for 3 hours "where the hell do I start"
LIFE HACK: Answer your phone "Hello you`re on the air" and 99% of the time people will just hang up
They say do what you love & the money will follow. I love doing nothing. We`ll see.