Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I wish you could order Karma like flowers and have it delivered.
Girls don`t dress for boys, they dress for themselves... If girls dressed for boys, they`d just walk around naked all the time.
All I ask is to one day live in a house with secret passages.
Perhaps your whole purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others
I get a little nervous eating cucumber in a single woman`s home.
I’m going to start telling girls that I’m available for a limited time only in hopes that their shopping instinct kicks in.
Someday, somewhere, somehow I’m going to do something.
You know you had a good night when your first call the next morning is from the bank making sure your card wasn’t stolen.
hmmmm...halo or horns today??
Actually according to chemists, alcohol IS a solution…
Tip of the day: Don`t piss off anyone who has unlimited access to your toothbrush.
People ask me why I don`t have any tattoos and I respond with, would you put a bumper sticker on a Ferrari?
You may think I`m a loser, but to my goldfish, I`m the god of flakes.
When the coffee stops working it is probably the right time to start drinking.
I wake up everyday planning to be productive. Then a voice in my head says, " hahaa, good one!" Then we laugh and laugh and take a nap.