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Love your neighbor ... but don`t get caught.
Little to no thought was put into this status.
I keep myself in good enough shape to outrun most women and children during emergencies.
Texting totally changes your perception of how long stoplights are.
When I was a kid and was going to "get it" that was bad. Now I`m an adult and I`m going to "get it" :)
Law and Order is just Blue`s Clues for adults.
Time to get out of bed and worry from another location.
I think 90% of the software on my computer doesn`t do anything except send me notices that there`s a new version of itself.
My mom just sent me a friend request on Facebook! Finally I can use that "I`m not your friend I`m your mother" speech to my advantage.
The only exercise I`ve done this month is running out of money
Having plans sounds like a good idea until you have to put on clothes and leave your house.
When I was a kid, I thought quicksand was going to be a much bigger problem than it really is.
When I see someone yawn, I yawn. I wish it was the same with exercising....
The reason why women will never be the ones to propose is because as soon as she gets on her knees, he will start unzipping his pants
I feel like a nickle in the March of Dimes.