Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My hair only looks good on days when no one important sees it.
So if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the “Jags” and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the “Bucs,” what does that make the Tennessee Titans?
Shouldn`t there have been at least one scene in The Karate Kid where Daniel`s mom was like "Why are you constantly in that old man`s shed?"
Maybe my goal was to be a 35 year old loser on the Internet ... You don`t know.
So what if Jesus turned water into wine... I turned a whole student loan into beer once. your move Jesus.
Success sleeps with u in private. Failure insults u in public ! Aa
He was like, `We`re all slowly dying` So I was like, `WRONG` and I threw him in front of a moving bus.
Mosquito landed on my friend`s face; easiest decision of my life.
Every job in the world should require their employees to enter and leave work in a Soul Train line.
Have you ever said something and immediately thought “I didn’t know I knew that."
I`m surprised kids haven`t found a way to trick or treat online yet
Why aren’t mustaches called mouth brows?
If I eat healthy today then I can have one piece of candy as a reward. If I eat unhealthy, then I can have the whole bag.
So, All my exes live in Texas; Exactly, how does one go about scheduling a tornado ?
You`re such a slut, the only reason why you wear panties is to keep your ankles warm.