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So apparently the numbers on the toaster are minutes? I`ve thought for years it was degree of toasty-ness.
They might want to put a picture of that airplane on a milk carton.
Men, if a woman is upset, hold her and tell her how beautiful she is. If she starts to growl, retreat to a safe distance and throw chocolate at her.
The phrase “Don’t take this the wrong way.” has a zero percent success rate.
Nothing good has ever come from answering a call from a blocked phone number.
Hey.. The tequila I drank wants to tell you a secret.
Am I supposed to bring condoms to a speed dating event? How fast do these things actually go?
Frankly auto correct,I`m getting tired of your shirt.
Love makes the world go round, but alcohol makes it go round twice as fast!
This is probably the best idea I`ve had yet! -me, right before I do something stupid
I don’t mean to brag but when I’m at the Taco Bell drive thru placing my order, I don’t even look at the prices.
Coca Cola: Because drinking black water seems like a solid life choice.
I`m not the kind of guy to distance himself from anything... Far from it.
Tell a therapist, Not Facebook.
Once again its friday I know its only been 7 days since the last one but feels like its been a week....