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3 things I will never understand: 1. The meaning of life. 2. The universe. 3. How Spongebob & Patrick made those sounds effects in that box.
Some things get in the way of my happiness, so I ignore them.
I woke up this morning and my "check liver" light was on.
Reality is for those who can`t handle alcohol
Chili for breakfast. Cause I hate my Co-workers.
You are on the list of the many things I would do for a Klondike bar.
Sweetie, if your gonna be two-faced at least make one of them pretty!
Let me be honest, I dont even walk a mile in my own shoes.
When people have cars as their profile picture I automatically presume they are a transformer.
Man I wanna throw a book at someones face and be like "I Facebooked you!"
I`m probably not going to get accepted into the optimist club.
Lessons learned from last night: There is no such thing as a goalie in darts.
I was asked what I would give the woman who has everything? Well…my phone number for a start.
Everyone hates performance enhancing drugs. Yet, everyone loves Captain America.
Since light travels faster than sound, isn`t that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?