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I don`t mind helping people as long as I`m not slightly inconvenienced.
Never trust a person with only one Facebook photo of themselves.
Valentines Day is the only day of the year that the guy with the smallest package gets the girl.
I keep forgetting how bad my memory has become
Zoos would be cooler if you had to fight each animal before you could see the next one.
Bipolar smile :(: ...... Gets um everytime !
Imagine taking your girlfriend to your friends house for the 1st time, and her phone automatically connects to his password protected wifi.
If Violets were Orange, poetry would be a lot more challenging.
Some moments you remember all your life. Reading this, unfortunately, is not one of those moments.
If there`s a bar where everybody knows your name, you`re probably an alcoholic.
When I`m cleaning my room, 1% cleaning 29% moaning 70% playing with stuff I just found.
my doctor says I have the body of a 20 year old, the mind of a 30 year old and the wisdom of a someone twice my age, to which my husband asked " What did he say about your fat ass?" I said to my husband, "Oh , the doctor didn`t say anything about you dear!".
Sometimes people don`t notice or appreciate the things we do for them, until we stop doing it. They are like, “Why don’t you stalk me anymore”
You`re one of a kind! Thank goodness...
To whoever said “fight fire with fire”: do you actually test your own advice before giving it?