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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

They say a womanโ€™s work is never done. Maybe thatโ€™s why they get paid less.
I`m starting to think that the Facebook status update I liked has had absolutely no influence on Government policy at all.
I can`t decide what`s more embarrassing - the fact that I still live out of a suitcase, or that I`m a professional ventriloquist dummy.
I have a million dollar idea that I will share with the first million people to send me a dollar.
Thereโ€™s plenty of fish in the seaโ€ฆ I just suck at fishing.
If your girl sets her Facebook relationship status to โ€œWidowedโ€, itโ€™s time to pack a suitcase as fast as possible.
Yes Officer, I carry a knife, but that`s just in case I find a cake.
"keep moving.....nothing to see here"
Does "who cares" count as advice?
I wonder whether I can trust doctors with dead plants in the waiting room.
When I say โ€œwow, thatโ€™s crazyโ€, 99 percent of the time, it means I havenโ€™t been listening to a word of your conversation.
I cant wait to show everyone at work my new cough
Onion rings are vegetables. And the Large size counts as two servings.
You know you had a good night when your first call the next morning is from the bank making sure your card wasn`t stolen.
I say No to drugs but they... won`t listen.