Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
SCIENCE FACT: If you close your eyes, you won`t be able to see.
Insanity means never having to say “I’m Guilty”.
People who help you find what you are looking for in a liquor store should be called "Spirit Guides."
Forecast for today: Unproductive with a chance of a late drinking session.
As a man I am so thankful I don`t have to give birth. I could never go nine months without drinking.
According to the U.S. Census Bureau: 190,374 people are having sex right now, 212,130 are kissing, and 1 poor person is reading this post. You hang in there!
I just apologized to my wife for something she did wrong. Marriage is fun.
I`ve started to make a fresh start in 2015, so if I owe you money, too bad.
This police sketch artist has no idea that he`s about to draw me as the most bad ass Batman caricature ever.
I can update Facebook from anywhere. Even when crossing the stre
“we should hang out soon” loosely translates to I’m doing everything in my power to end this stupid conversation.
just bought 400 copies of Hoarders: Season 1. Not sure what to do with them.
Have you noticed that the "lol" symbol looks like a drowning guy? i bet hes not laughing out loud
Every so often you come across a person who always smiles no matter what, that person is the reason why random bitch slaps should be a thing
I licked some of the frosting, but then I just ate the whole cake. No evidence. Problem solved.