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So tell me, does it hurt to be so full of sh!t?
Put that down you fat piece of sh!t` - the title of the dieting book I`m writing.
Sometimes I get road rage standing in lines.
I´m (insert your name) BITCHES!!!! Deal with that.
Your secrets are safe with me, because I probably wasn’t listening to begin with.
"Open Mike Night" sounded like a lot of fun until I realised I`d been invited to an autopsy.
A coworker wouldn`t stop bragging about her upcoming trip to Hawaii, so I emailed her a bunch of pictures of plane crashes.
Your a$$ must be jealous everytime sh*t comes out of your mouth.
I dreamt that was dreaming, and then someone woke me up and told me I was dreaming but it turned out I had only dreamed that so I went back to sleep in my dream, all upset that my dream that I was dreaming was interrupted by another dream....hahahahaha.....whoa, need to lay off the Red Bull.
For the record, you`ll need a turntable needle.
I hope I can still remember the dance to Thriller when I become a Zombie.
The problem with you is ... you exist.
Pretty sure airport food was priced by children just learning about numbers. "Ok Brian, how much should this apple cost?" SIXTY TWO DOLLARS!!
I bet the YMCA dance is alot harder to do in Chinese.
I could never trust a psychic who hasn`t won the lottery at least once.