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This is just a quick shout-out to bread bowls, waffle cones and other edible containers. You guys are doing a great job.
"Just be yourself" doesn`t work if you suck.
If others are jealous, youβre doing something right.
Just did 100 crunches. Crumbs everywhere.
When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn`t hire stupid people.
My hobbies include trying to close the elevator door before someone else gets on.
Maybe, just once, someone will call me "Sir" without adding, "You`re making a scene."
I just fell down the stairs holding a guitar and accidentally wrote a One Direction song.
Thanks to Netflix I can tell my doctor I`ve done a lot of "marathons"
Just when you want to be a good person again , someone new to stalk shows up
Crayons are a lot like M & M`s, all the colors taste the same.
All a girl wants is a guy that can make her laugh ... and not just when he drops his pants.
Got kicked out of the casino again. Apparently, gold chocolate coins mess up their slot machines or something.
They say do what you love & the money will follow. I love doing nothing. We`ll see.
I smile because your my daughter. I laugh because there`s nothing you can do about it. ;)