Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Nothing says "My balls are kept in a jar inside her purse" quite like a joint Facebook account
Ever work out and think "wow I really needed that"? That`s how I feel about the chocolate chip cookie I just ate.
Never wake a sleeping woman. Because then she´ll be awake.
I relate to Game of Thrones because much like my own life, I have no idea what’s going on and there’s a lot of wine drinking.
A recent survey of one person reveals that 100% of me thinks I should leave work early.
The best time to reexamine your life is when you find yourself reluctantly nodding to the questions asked at the start of an infomercial.
There has to be an online course that I can take to get over my internet addiction.
All you single ladies, please stop saying you should just give up and get a cat. If no man wants you, don`t subject an innocent cat to a life with you.
Men think they have it bad, but they`re not the ones having to hold their boobs when they run.
The wet spot in my bed is tears
Actually officer, I`d prefer to think that vodka smells like me.
When I have a yard sale I play the theme song to Sanford & Son with a boombox on my porch.
My life is loosely based on a true story.
I went to the store to buy some comdoms and the cashier asked me If I needed a bag ? "I replied No she`s not that ugly"
I threw a shotgun shell at my daughter`s date. ..then I told him it`s much faster after 11pm