Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Let me get this straight…a woman could pour hot wax on her legs, ripping all the hair out…and still be afraid of a spider?
Burger King is offering delivery service in some areas. I don’t trust it. Everyone knows it’s impossible to drive without eating the fries.
My greatest talent is being able to watch 5 years worth of a TV shows in one week.
The bills are washed, the dishes are paid, the laundry’s in the oven. I’m going to bed.
If you can´t amaze people with your intelligence, confuse them with your bullsh*t
Imagine Ferris Bueller trying so hard not to Instagram his whole day off.
Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, `You`re only interested in one thing,` and you can`t remember what it is.
As if " cray cray" wasn`t irritating enough, people have started shortening it to " cray"....that`s just stu stu
eHarmony has a 24 month plan. How ugly do you have to be to need 2 years to find someone?
Every selfie you post should come stamped with a number like a limited edition print. "Attempt 7 of 25".
Next time you`re in a hospital elevator, calmly ask a stranger if they know what floor you should get off at for infectious diseases.
I never cry over spilt milk. But, beer? That sh!t`s totally different.
Here`s where I draw the line: ___________________________.
Besides being curled up on the bathroom floor convinced I was dying from liver failure for a few hours, last night was fun.
Just saw a coyote next to the highway... I hope this tunnel ahead isn`t just painted on.