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Why don`t prison inmates just use liquid soap?
Bitches be trippin..... ok, maybe I pushed that one.
Standing up: Wow, I`m actually kind of skinny. Sitting down: Okay, maybe not..
Screw getting an alarm system. I`ve seen Home Alone, I know what to do.
If the TV show "Cops" has taught me anything, it`s to stay away from people with blurry faces....... they always seem to attract trouble.......
A graham cracker is just a white dude selling coke in the ghetto.
Today`s interpretive dance was brought to you by "Spider On My Shirt". Up next we have "Oh jeeze, where did it go?!"
Peanut butter sandwiches taste better when cut in half diagonally...........Listen,, I don`t make the rules people.
When I asked if you had protection, pepper spray isn’t what I meant.
have you ever noticed `lol` looks like a drowning person?
I can`t wait to be ashamed of what I do this weekend
Step aside coffee… this is a job for booze.
Volleyball is just a more intense game of "Don`t let the balloon touch the floor"
I organized a threesome last night....there were a couple of no shows, but I still had a good time