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Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. Im pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
Do not read the next sentence. You little rebel, that`s why I like you.
Why do TV shows say "May contain nudity"? It either does or doesn`t. Don`t make me watch the entire thing and find out the hard way it doesn`t....
Sometimes it takes me 8 hours to get nothing done.
A good office manager never let`s you run out of ink, paper or vodka
I wanted to say thank you to all the people who gave me a reason to drink this Friday night.
There is no better indication of how drunk you are than how loudly you declare that you`re not.
FB friends, no one gives a ratsass what concerts you went to...
If I live to be 100, I`m gonna make up some fake reason why, just to mess with people. Like, I ate a pine cone, or drank olive oil every single day...
Don´t be stupid, it´s not smart.
Why is there an eject button on the DVD remote? You still have to get up & take the disc out. It`s like having a remote to open the fridge.
I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.
At any given time my wallet is worth more than its contents.
Is there anything more awkward than when you are singing along to a song on youtube and the music stops loading.
I want a man who loves me for my personality. Is it really to much to ask, I mean I do have several to pick from.