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that awkward moment when you`re scuba diving and you see Adele rolling in the deep.
Apparently "Fat Tuesday" doesn´t constitue telling fatties they´re fatties.
You guys remember back before Google when we would just sit around and wonder about sh!t ...?
Some people are just bad news!!! Those are my favorite!
Guys write songs about girls they love. Girls write songs about guys they have broken up with
Proof that getting kicked in the nuts is worse than giving birth. Girls often say, yeah I`d have another baby. Guys never ask to get kicked in the nuts again.
Bike helmets only protect you from looking cool.
Is it "poon tang", or "poontang"? I`m trying to update my Christian Mingle profile.
Just printed out 50 copies of today`s weather forecast to carry around with me today because I`m just not in the mood for small talk.
Firemen, Astronauts, and Doctors are the only people who actually followed through on what they wanted to be when they grew up.
Is anyone else`s alcohol tolerance too high for their paycheck?
Facebook, the lost and found for people. . .
Tampon commercials create an unrealistic expectation of how much fun it is to be around menstruating women.
Before I lose my phone, end up naked, drunk and/or possibly arrested, I would like to wish you all a Happy Independence Day.
It`s kind of creepy that you noticed me staring at you.