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If it’s called tourist season, why can’t you shoot at them?
Based on the sound of her walking.. My upstairs neighbor seems like the kind of woman that starts sentences with; "Fee-Fi-Fo-Fum.".. O_o
the dude who posted ”MERRY CHRISTMAS“ has still got his head shoved up the turkeys A$$ it seems...
I don’t hate you, I’m just not necessarily excited about your existence.
More often than not, the excitement of a Facebook friend request dies upon discovering who it is.
Being skinny might be nice, but having pizza is nicer.
I don`t think its a coincidence that "Sober" and "So bored" sound very much alike
Just saw Abe Lincoln Vampire Hunter... So that`s how it happened! I knew what I learned in history class was a bunch of crap!
I think you know you’ve got a problem when every letter of the alphabet triggers a porn bonanza in your address bar.
There’d be less accidents if there was a texting lane.
Covers on, too hot. Covers off, too cold. One foot out would prolly be ok, but I don’t wanna be dragged from bed paranormal activity style.
Why do I even have unlimited texting?
Those 5 donuts I ate are really going to give me an extra boost during my workout today.
Just remember, outside of that beautiful slim bride on her wedding day there’s a fat woman just waiting to get in.
If the cupcake has some green sprinkles on it, it`s a vegetable, right?