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FINALLY home from work! So, yea...if your phone number is on your profile...I will be drunk dialing you in about 30 minutes or so.
"This place needs to be sticky, wall to wall." - Every 2 year old with a Popsicle.
To drink, or not to drink?...what a stupid question!
Forgot to make resolutions? Just write out everything you did New Years Eve and at the beginning add the word "stop."
I have officially bought the first batch of Halloween candies that will not make it to Halloween.
My hobbies include trying to close the elevator door before someone else gets on.
You can`t fix stupid, but you can watch it in action on Facebook every day.
"Please don`t do this." - my voice mail greeting
Anyone notice the irony behind “hyphenated” and “non-hyphenated”?
The best nicknames are the ones people don’t know they have
My entire existence is just me sitting around waiting to get hungry again.
I dropped my affordable health care because I couldn`t afford it .
Don`t judge a person for drinking; judge a person for not drinking. Those f*ckers are up to something.
For an "adult" bookstore, this place has a LOT of picture books
There was no bonus fry at the bottom of the bag. But the story has a happy ending. I found it later in my sports bra.