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My day so far: 1) Jumped out of bed 2) Cooked breakfast 3) Ran 6 miles 4) Worked out 5) Started lying compulsively
That awkward moment when there`s not a single awkward moment
The only difference between the 13yr old me and the 28yr old me is that my kool-aid now contains vodka.
I`d gladly eat raw eggs before my workout provided those eggs were inside brownie batter.
You learn something new everyday and if you didnt know that then you just did.
Can you imagine the reactions 25 years ago if you showed someone a photo album of pictures you took of yourself in the bathroom?
I`ll show up at the gym when they put in a drive-thru.
the `real` me doesnt do facebook
If noone comes from the future to stop you, how bad of a decision could it really be?
My dog reminds me of my ex. She doesn`t pull her weight financially and she`s scared of the vacuum.
I don`t care how old I am, if I go out to eat and there are crayons and paper place mats with puzzles...GAME ON!!
My house is not messy. Those are just obstacles I`ve put in place for burglars.
A friend came over visibly shaken. He said he had just slept with his 3rd cousin. I told him, if it upsets you that much quit counting them.
Life is tough. Put on your big girl panties and deal with it like the rest of us.
Don`t EVER break a pinky promise. That sh!t is LEGIT.