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So when a couple gets engaged on Facebook for April Fools it`s okay to comment "hahaha" but the rest of the year it`s rude??
Seems like my body should have better things to do than make nipple hair.
Note to Denver Broncos: Marijuana is NOT a performance enhancing drug!
like this if you are against animal cruelty
Most people decide to have scramble eggs immediately after thinking: "I`ll just flip this omelette"
You know its cold out ......when you go outside..... and it`s cold out
Too bad you can’t get abs from laughing at your own jokes, because I would have an 8 pack.
Get at least eight hours of beauty sleep, 9 if you`re ugly.
Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food colouring. The doctor says I`m alright, but I feel like, well, like I`ve dyed a little inside.
My relationship with whiskey has been on the rocks lately
I was all ears until you said something that sounded like advice.
Based on the number of smoke breaks they take, I’m pretty sure the only reason my co-workers have a job is to pay for their cigarettes.
After socializing and being nice to people all day it`s nice to sit down, drink by myself, and be an a$$hole on the Internet.
You know that really private/embarrassing stuff you say to your girlfriend when no one else is around? Her friends know all that sh!t.
The problem with drinking with people from work is they`re the ones I bitch about when I`m drunk.