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I propose we change the names of the upper case P and lower case p to "P standing up" and "p sitting down."
I hate grocery shopping. That`s why I just steal a full cart when somebody turns away. I never know what I`m getting, but it sure is faster.
Do people smoke e-cigarettes after sexting?
Those friends who like and at the same time unlike my statuses please you`re increasing my blood pressure!
Million dollar idea: Pills that you can take with alcohol.
Why do cops ask us why we think they pulled us over? It`s their job. I dont go to the station and ask why they think I created a powerpoint.
I`m starting group meetings at my house for people who have OCD, not because I have it, but surely one of them will be bothered enough to clean it.
A funny thing to do would be to text random numbers with "I got the live bees you sent, they`ll do nicely"
Single ? I`m not single, I`m in a long standin relationship with fun and freedom ! ;)
People with the loudest car audio systems usually have the worst taste in music.
Most of my colleagues and friends can`t spell colleagues or friends.
DO NOT expect a "Bless You" after your 3rd sneeze. Get that sh!t under control.
Ladies, don`t date him just because his dad has a yacht. Date the dad.
We should be nicer to old people. When they walked uphill both ways in the snow they had to do it without an internet connection too.
That awkward moment when you forget what you’re watching during the commercial break.