Daily Silly Status

In movies, do actors wear costume underwear? Or underwear from home? The whole thing is confusing. I don`t think I can keep watching movies

Watching someone else play a video game is like watching someone who won`t let you join in while they`re masturbating.

If the Terminator was female the line would have been, “I might be back, I haven’t decided yet.”

Who was the greatest prostitute in history? Ms. Pac Man, for 25 cents that bitch would swallow balls til she died!

If you can´t amaze people with your intelligence, confuse them with your bullsh*t

I said I was good at making decisions. I didn`t say the decisions I made were good.

Why is it called "reading a book" and not paper view?

If I hit snooze 3 times it should automatically send an email to my boss saying I`ll be out sick.

tonights theme: grab somebody sexy tell them hey, give me everything tonight!

After 6 years, is it still all Bush`s fault or has it been reduced to "Unfortunate circumstances under no one`s control"?..............

You mellennials and your obsession with public healthcare, back in my day we just died!

I tried to be a Rap Singer once. Sadly my rap album, `I Respect the Police & the Risks They Take to Keep My Community Safe`, didn`t do too well on iTunes.

Retirement plans compared .. If you had purchased $1000.00 of Nortel stock one year ago, it would now be worth $49.00. With Enron, you would have $16.50 left of the original $1000. With WorldCom, you would have less than $5.00 left. If you had purchased $1000.00 of Delta Air Lines stock you would have $49.00 left. If you had purchased United Airlines, you would have nothing left. But, if you had purchased $1000.00 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the cans for recycl

If you want to pick up girls ....Keep your back straight and lift with your knees.

Don`t refer to them as voices in your head. Do as the professionals and call them your `team of writers`