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This is just a quick shout-out to bread bowls, waffle cones and other edible containers. You guys are doing a great job.
Have you heard about the new movie called constipation? It hasn`t come out yet.
Huge spoiler here ... Did you know Dave is actually NOT the real father of Alvin, Simon, and Theodore.
My bed has no frame and sits directly on the floor because under-bed monsters are just one less thing I have to worry about now.
Does any one know how to lower the difficulty settings on tinder?
You really understand how drunk you are when you`re peeing...
I always tell new hires, don`t think of me as your boss, think of me as your friend who can fire you`re ass
My pants are 75% off.
I’ve always wanted to climb Mt. Everest…just not more than I don’t want to.
Good Morning: You, my friends are the reason I wake up every morning ? LOL JK, I have to pee.
An apple a day will keep anyone away ... if thrown hard enough.
If you keep bending your iPhone 6 you`ll eventually have a sweet flip phone.
If you would`ve told me back in 1999 that we`d still be using animated gifs in 2015, I would`ve said "Wow, what a boring conversation"
Pizza doesn’t ask questions. Pizza understands.
Good thing I got a college degree I think as I put away the kid toys for the 49 billionth time