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I have a confession to make. I was born with a rare disease called βAmazing.β
Is going to bed! Hopefully the Cleaning Fairies will come and clean my house tonight! Wishful Dreaming i guess!
My brain is about as well organized as the Walmart $5 dvd bin.
I use profanity, the way Picasso used a paint brush
Your so vain...you probably think this post is about you
Cool things about being a turtle: 1. Born with a free house attached to you 2. Super chill 3. Could potentially mutate into a ninja
Lord, help me be the person my psychiatrist medicates me to be.
I hate it when people pour my cereal. They don`t know how much I want. They don`t know my life. They don`t know what I`ve been through.
Whenever I give money to the homeless, I get yelled at that "they are just gonna buy booze with it". All I can think is ... Oh like I wasn`t ..
I was the hot single in my area the whole time.
It`s not that I CAN`T be good, it`s that I`m SOOOOO much better at being BAD!!!
I`ve had this ant farm for a year now and these lazy bastards still haven`t grown any crops.
I was just watching Ladies Beach volleyball and there`s already been a wrist injury.. No worries, I should be okay in a couple of days..
My goal today is to turn actions into thoughts.
Bank called asking if my credit card had been stolen. They were concerned because it hadn`t been used at the liquor store since Friday.