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According to my nipples, summer is over
I`ve been told that I never take responsibility for anything, and it`s all your fault.
My favorite flavor of ice cream is yes.
It’s all fun and games until they reply to your text with a phone call.
The wife and I never really argue except on where to vacation. I wanna go to the beach and she wants to come with me
I finally got some "me time" being away from the kids. Two whole hours. Would have gotten more, but my knees started getting numb from crouching behind the dryer.
There must be an easier way to transport long poles across canyons other than walking across a tightrope carrying one pole at a time.
I`m dreaming of a white Christmas. But if the white runs out I`ll pop open the red and drink that.
My neighbours diary say`s I have boundary issues.
I am bored. Anyone need anything avenged?
Would the 2 Sonic dudes just get it over with and kiss already
I am not lazy, I`m on power saving mode
I licked some of the frosting, but then I just ate the whole cake. No evidence. Problem solved.
Boobs make me forget about all the bad things in the world.
I`ve just been watching a documentary on marijuana...... I think all documentaries should be watched this way.