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I look forward to the day that cell phone technology finally catches up with technology in digital watches and they release a model that is water resistant up to 100 meters.
If doing things was as easy as thinking about doing things I’d get a lot more done.
"F@ck It" has gotten me through a lot of situations.
Nothing like responsibility to ruin a perfectly good day.
There is a huge difference between a hot girl and a girl wearing lesser clothes.
You can test my patience all you want, but I’m never going to pass.
How do you people have the time to hate a stranger on the internet?
Me: "I want to travel more." Bank account: "Like, to the park?"
If Jesus is the reason for the season.......why is the church parking lot empty and Wal Marts is full?
I always stip to help women broke down. I don`t know sh!t about cars, but I do know how a good porn starts off.
Vampire selfies are just phones floating in front of bathroom mirrors.
I just missed winning the lottery by only 6 numbers.
It`s the weekend!!! I haven`t been this excited since my phone got stuck on vibrate.
If I was rich, I´d do nothing all day from a much nicer recliner.
If you’re that person that makes microwave popcorn at work, nobody likes you.