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I like to play fetch with my cat....which, you know, is just me throwing stuff,,, followed by disappointment.
says, I am not an alcoholic. I am a social drinker. Problem is, I socialize too much!
Okay, let’s get this straight. There’s no way everone here has the best boyfriend in the world.
This complimentary lemonade at the doctor`s office tastes funny.
I love long legs.... Long sexy legs.....But not on a Spider, I hate long sexy legs on a Spider.
Of course women dont fart. They never shut up long enough to build up pressure
If going to church has taught me anything, it is that Catholics hate unexpected pterodactyl impressions.
I`m not lazy, I`m in energy saving mode.
Pouring a bucket of white marbles into the hippo pen will result in a lifetime ban from the zoo no matter how hungry they looked.
I have enough leftover Halloween candy to get me to leftover Valentine`s Day candy time.
I don`t like country music, but I don`t mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means `put down`.
I`m getting sick of these porn sites listing my videos as "amateur".
To be honest, I´m just fishing for compliments tonight.
Relationships would be easier if people came with a "Clear History" button.
One thing the porn industry has taught me is that this summer I defiantly need to get a job as a poolboy.