Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Sometimes, I drink a glass of water, just to surprise my liver!
Sorry for accidentally karate kicking you. Sorry for high-fiving everyone who saw it.
Always wonder why do people even bother making good quality pinatas?
I get so confused when I`m about to watch a TV show or movie and "For Mature Audiences Only" appears on the screen. Can I watch or not?
To this day, the boy that used to bully me at school still takes my lunch money. On the plus side, he makes great subway sandwiches.
Bad news, guys. Throwing a cat through a wall doesn`t make a funny, cat-shaped hole
People who say they sleep like a baby usually dont have one
"That was supposed to be a compliment." -Men
If you`re going to have opinions on my life, then I am assuming you will be paying some of the bills.
Netflix is a lot like facebook in the way I just waste time scrolling and scoffing at things.
When I see a girl with too much makeup, I just want to use my finger to write "Wash Me" on her face.
"Iyam A. Wii Todd" <-- Bet you can say that name out loud, in a crowded place, and really fast!
I thought kegels were like Jewish bagels
I`ve often wondered: Who the heck is Pete, and why do we do things for his sake?
Every wanna answer every question with a middle finger? That`s kinda where I am today.