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Showing cleavage doesn’t fix your face.
I BRIEFLY had an urge to clean ... but that lasted only 5 minutes .. whew! That was close! Lol
I didn`t text you. Vodka texted you.
My life is a movie. One of those movies where most of the people start leaving right in the middle of it.
I`m so scattered I don`t know whether I found this rope or lost my horse.
How many selfies does it take to get to the center of attention?
Married men should forget their mistakes. There is no need for two people, to remember the same thing.
Finally, my winter fat is gone, now all I have are spring rolls.
I bet no one in Africa is allergic to gluten.
A Relationship is like poker, if you don`t have a partner you better have a good hand.
Dear Life, Please, use a Lubricant.
It`s hard to trust people. Even the blind prefer to be guided by dogs.
If I`m guilty of anything it`s loving you too much. Oh and indecent exposure...I suppose trespassing too.
If I have nosy neighbors, I always like to dig five 7 ft. x 3 ft. x 6 ft. holes in the back yard and every couple of days, Fill one in.
The only solution to a problem is to find the source and Kill it.