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Women don`t want to hear what you think. Women want to hear what they think.
I never know the proper etiquette with the pizza delivery guy. Do I kiss him before or after paying him?
I may contain scenes of violence, nudity and foul language.
Monday must be a man ... It comes too quickly.
I can`t wait to get home and have make-up sex! ... I`ve been arguing all day with myself.
Today, I am doing my part to conserve energe, I’m going back to bed.
Safe words are for quitters.
If you don`t leave a buffet looking like someone told you bad news you didn`t get your money`s worth.
The zoo is a pretty safe place to fart.
I miss being in a relationship. Could 1 of you girls come over here and yell at me, treat me like shi t and not sleep with me? It might help.
I would not mind living next to a serial killer. They never kill the neighbor. He`s the one that`s always on the news later saying "He was a quite guy, never really talked to anyone." Wait a minute ... I don`t talk to my neighbors!
Never take a Chess enthusiast to a restaurant with checkered tablecloths!……It’ll take them an hour to pass the salt!
Today I recently discovered how to make my p@nis 12"...I just fold that b!tch in half.
I could scroll down my Facebook page and write a country song!!
person 1: i can draw really well person 2: i`m really athletic person 3: i`m hilarious and likable person 4: i`m gorgeous me: i can breathe