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It`s not a real relationship until their zip code is in your Weather Channel app.
Don`t date guys from the internet. The last guy said he lived in a gated community. Prison, he meant prison.
Grey Goose and Red Bull, because two sets of wings is better than one.
Going to: ? Paris ? New York ? London ? KITCHEN... I`m hungry
There are no limits to what you can accomplish when you’re supposed to be doing something else.
They should really be Middle-Age Mutant Business Turtles by now.
Let`s share...you take the grenade and I`ll take the pin.
1 in 3 Americans, weighs as much as the other 2.
I may hate waiting. But I love procastinating.
It`s hard to look like a bad-ass when you`re slurping on a strawberry smoothie.
Jodi Arias dating O J Simpson now that would be a hell of a relationship
life is too short to match socks
What if firemen acted like policemen and just drove around shooting water at anyone who looked like they might catch on fire.
You´re just jealous because the voices are talking to me and not you!
Buying your wife a gun is like saying. "You know, I kinda want to kill myself, but I want it to be a surprise."