Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
AA meetings would be better if AA stood for Alcohol Afterwards
A person who says they will never lie to you is probably lying already.
Your duty as a friend is to LIKE my Facebook posts even if they suck.
Me: *kisses her on both cheeks goodbye* Cashier: That`s really not necessary
I`m not leaving here without some kind of balloon
The guy blaring the self help CD at the red light in the rusted car with no bumpers wasn`t amused when I said, "I don`t think it`s working"
I am bored. Anyone need anything avenged?
Don`t hate me because I`m beautiful. Hate me because your man thinks I am.
"Half a dozen" because saying `6` is way too long...
The race to get Dad a Christmas present usually ends in a tie.
Do you ever just look at someone and think "Wow, let me take off your pants."
I’m trying to read a book about how to relax, but I keep falling asleep
Wouldn`t ventriloquists be a lot cooler if they could throw their farts?
If you love someone, set them free. If they don’t come back, text them when you’re drunk.
My mum`s so old fashioned she thinks LOL = Lots of love. She sent me an SMS saying just to let you know you`re Pa`s in hospital LOL.