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I am looking at this online special deal at Disneyworld and thinking no, my kids can annoy me just fine right here at home.
I`m in hospital after eating what i thought was onions instead they were daffodil bulbs. Its ok doctors say i will be out in spring.
If at first you don`t succeed ... run them over
How many HA’s equal a LOL? How about a LMAO? Is there a conversion chart somewhere?
Never underestimate a girl’s ability to find things out.
I got kicked out of my Community Theater group when the director asked to see me Limp. How was I to know he was talking about walking?
My wife woke up with a HUGE smile on her face this morning. I love sharpies.
When the only light in your world is suddenly gone …it’s time to recharge your phone.
I just hope my stalker doesn`t tell my dentist how infrequently I floss.
When your feeling down, I will be there to feel you up. ;)
Anyone going to stare at their phones anywhere cool this weekend?
I dont mind going to work, but this eight hour wait to go home is bullsh*t
That tenth doctor is a selfish idiot, he never recommends anything!
Don`t tell me to make myself at home if you don`t want me to drop my pants and download porn on your computer.
Its so cold outside I might even post about it on Facebook