Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
There is nothing louder than a party across the street that you weren’t invited to.
I`m actually a pretty normal person when you ignore the faint cries for help coming from my basement..
Pretty cool how the internet lets you stay connected with people you haven`t seen in years and silently judge them on a daily basis.
I decided I`m not doing the whole clock-back routine this year. If you need me, I`ll be in the frickin future.
Zebras are just horses that escaped from prison.
Any pencil can be a number two pencil if you eat it.
I said I was good at making decisions. I didn`t say the decisions I made were good.
Have you ever looked at someone and realized "WTF" is always what immediately comes to mind?
B!tch, I will slap you by accident on purpose.
The most unrealistic part of cooking shows is when they have enough room in their fridge to fit an entire baking sheet.
Wives give sound advice. 99% sound, 1% advice.
If cartoons can wear the same clothes everyday then so can I, dammit!
I`m motivated by a need to leave something meaningful in the world & a profound desire to shove it in the face of anyone who`s rejected me.
Vodka isn`t the answer... but it makes you forget the question :P
During the holidays people have to make a choice between enjoying the holidays or spending it with the relatives.