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Late to bed and early to rise, makes me really tired and pissed off.
Have some fun: goto the local bar. Play every Justin Beaber song and leave.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!
If I have offended you, hurt you, belittled you in any manner, then I want you to know that I was only just getting started.
Good news I passed my drug test today. But now my drug dealer has some explaining to do.
The number one reason why trick or treating is better than sex is, you can do the whole neighborhood.
If you`ve Liked more than 15 of my posts over the past year, I assume you`re okay with me putting you down as a personal reference on this job application, k?
Iām just SOOO busy. I spend 70% of my day telling people how busy I am and the other 30% trying to make myself look REALLY REALLY busy.
Anybody else have those FB friends that set up a FB account 4 years ago and posted once or twice and hasn`t been back on since? And you wonder how they can exist without a Life?
3 Things you need to know: Yes I Have. Yes I Can. Yes I will.
Volleyball = A more intense version of don`t let the balloon hit the floor.
If you leave me a voice mail that asks me to call you back at my convenience you have no one to blame but yourself.
If you wear your old prom dress to the pharmacy, they`ll fill your antidepressants faster.
You know when dogs sticks their heads out of a moving car window, bite at the air and it looks like fun? I tried it. It is.
RIGHT NOW YOU HAVE: 3 fingers behind your phone, your pinky tucked under for support and your scrolling with your thumb! LIKE if Iām right!!!!