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Was sitting and doing nothing. Then I realized I could be sitting and doing nothing on Facebook. So here I am.
I saw a guy today at Starbucks. He had no smartphone, tablet or laptop. He just sat there drinking his coffee. Like a psychopath.
The only time I`ve ever had a chip on my shoulder was when I tried to dump the entire bag into my mouth at once.
Judging by all the cracking and popping noises my body makes when I work out, I`d say I`m about 74% Rice Krispies.
Went looking for camouflage underwear today.....couldn`t find any
90% of the apps on my phone don’t do anything except send me notices that there’s a new version of itself.
I’m not getting old. I’m becoming a classic.
Apologising does not mean you are wrong and the other person is right, it just means you value your relationship more than your ego.
My family is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you`re gonna get but you can be sure there are gonna be some nuts in there somewhere.
I’ll need a weekend to recover from this weekend.
Just got a fortune cookie with no fortune in it ... Sounds about right for this Monday
you can´t drink all day if you don´t start in the morning
Shouting "Shotgun" will get you the front seat of a car or a heap of cash if you whisper it to a cashier.
Be nice to me ... I may be hot one day.
Was hating my job until I drove past a grown man dressed as a Taco on the side of the road. Thanks again Perspective