Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I decided to go on a road trip and not come back till I ran out of money... I made it to the end of the driveway.
People who live in glass houses should not throw orgies
really vry funny
Nothing f*cks up your Friday like realizing that it’s only Thursday.
Go through a fast food drive thru. When they repeat your order back to you, say "And can I get that to go?" and enjoy the confused silence.
Sometimes, if you believe in something hard enough and deeply enough, nothing happens.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 7 am is sexy... Then yeah, I`m your guy.
I was sad, because I had no shoes. Until I met a man that had no feet. So, I took his shoes, cuz hey, he wan`t using them anyway!
Day 1. I am thankful that I haven`t fallen into the trap of Facebook thankful status updates.
The thought of having my own kids is scary because anyone who`s half me and half someone dumb enough to have sex with me is doomed
Whenever you feel like a genius, remember there was a time in your life when you were learning to not poop your pants.
I wonder if Earth makes fun of the Moon for having no life.
Serious question: Are doctors sure erectile dysfunction isn`t just a side effect of being married & bangin the same woman for years & years?
I think I’m going to take a hot shower. It’s like a normal shower, but with me in it…
Congratulations on becoming a homeowner! From now on, every noise you hear will cost you money.