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Some marriages end up fine, the others last forever.
Don`t threaten to leave people, surprise them by actually leaving.
Now that "twerk" has been added to the dictionary, I can`t wait for a Spelling Bee judge to be asked to use it in a sentence.
They should really be Middle-Age Mutant Business Turtles by now.
Shout out to people wondering what the opposite of in is.
To all the NSA agents reading this right now, I just want to say sorry that my life is so boring.
Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface.
2011: Come at me bro! 1800`s: Advance towards me brethren!
The most impressive thing about how cowboys used to have showdowns at high noon is that they could get two people to be on time to something
7 billion people on this planet and I can`t find one who doesn`t annoy the f*ck out of me.
How much would you have to pay a teacher to flunk your kid so he has to go to Summer School? Just planning ahead...
It`s the weekend!!! The " Responsible Adult Button" has been switched to OFF!!
I swear Hollisters electricity bill must be like $1 a month..
Why be part of the problem when you can be all of it?
People say that I have no idea what hard work is. That`s not true! I know exactly what it is... How do you think I avoid it so easily?