Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Are you watching too much T.V but not doing enough reading? Turn your subtitles on.
He was like, `We`re all slowly dying` So I was like, `WRONG` and I threw him in front of a moving bus.
What do sleeping and sex have in common? I`m not getting nearly enough of either.
I`ve been told that I can be condescending... that means that I tend to talk down to people.
Today please just pretend I wrote something hilarious, click like, and move on down the news feed.
New College Admissions Test ______ not getting into this college: A. Your B. Ur C. You`re D. U`re
Ran out of toilet paper, so I had to use leaves. Just kidding, but my son learned a big lesson about leaving his clothes on the bathroom floor.
No matter what life brings you, always take a lesson from your dog.. Kick some grass over that s**t and move on.
Every time the grocery baggers ask if I want help to my car, I feel like telling them yes and climbing in the cart.
If cartoons can wear the same clothes everyday then so can I, dammit!
You don`t appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things, like being spanked every day by a middle aged woman. Stuff you pay good money for in later life.
I have discovered that theirs no popcorn in popcorn chicken. I guess there`s no point in bothering with hash browns then.
Lazy Rule: If you spill water, It will eventually dry.
*Opens box of cereal* We’ve updated our Privacy Policy
Research shows that 100% of the time when someone says “oh no she didn’t!” she most definitely did.