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therapy is expensive...vodka is not. need I say more....
If anyone tells you that you drink to much on the weekends. Stop talking to them...you don`t need that kind of negativity in your life
Snakes are terrifying because they can`t trip and fall over sh!t. No creature should possess such power.
Sometimes the best helping hand you can give is a good, firm push
Is it just me or does chocolate taste even better late at night, hence the the last four letters of the word chocoLATE?!
I like when videogames limit how many things you can hold. "You have 100 items in an invisible bag. Carrying another would be unrealistic"
There’s a good reason I’m up this late: because I have to wake up really early.
Pokémon means a totally different thing if your stuck in a Jamaican prison.
I`d share my Netflix login but I`m too embarrassed by "My List".
Left the toilet seat up. Wife screaming in 5, 4, 3, 2...
if your looking for love sorry to disappoint you im already in a relationship with fun and freedom. :-)
More people would drink responsibly if there was a brand of beer named Responsibly.
Don`t understand how people in depression commercials can be sad with how attractive they are.
Pink camouflage: I`m like, where you hiding? Candyland?
How long does it take to get obsessed?