Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
It`s weird how Dora is multilingual at 4 but can`t find the banana tree behind her...
Holy crap! I just realized that I´m still it from a game of tag in 1987.
Just finished my first book yesterday. 450 pages. Man, that was a lot of coloring...
If one goes to online college, do they have to haze them self?
Dear Mother Nature, I would like to cancel my monthly subscription please… Urs Sincerely, 100% OF ALL WOMEN IN THE WORLD!
My earthquake kit is just a tuxedo, because in case of a disaster, I want to look like the most important person to save.
Being a pizza delivery driver is great because literally no one is disappointed to see you
If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, you’re drunk. Ducks don’t talk.
When I go through an automated car wash I close my eyes, because it`s easier to pretend I`m in a car that way.
I’m sorry I offended you with my common sense.
I just keep telling myself you guys don`t have sex either.
If I had a jet pack I would look AWESOME dying within the first 2 minutes of having a jet pack.
Depending on how you look at it, half of 8 could be 4, 3, or 0.
When I say "Have a nice day." Remember the f*cker on the end is silent.
The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.