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why earn money when it comes easier when you just ask
Sarcasm: because snapping a neck is frowned upon in a court of law.
Didn’t have internet on my phone for the past few hours. Finally graduated, got married, lost some weight, read 17 books and showered.
The closest I got to a 4.0 at university… was my blood alcohol level!
A funny thing to do would be to text random numbers with "I got the live bees you sent, they`ll do nicely"
Nothing says God is forgiving like hell.
Soccer is just like my sex life. Long periods of time with no action followed by pure shock & surprise by all parties involved when I score.
Think big, Think smart, Think positive, Think beautiful, Think great,I know this is too much for u,so here is a shortcut-Just think about me
I may not be a veterinarian, but I know a horses a$$ when I meet one.
My blind neighbor sure does take his dog on a lot of walks...
I`m tired of doing math. I guess I`ll get my lazy as up and fix my clocks today
I want to put a bib on a baby that says "This dumbass put my cape on backwards." lol
The moment when someone says a word and everyone laughs, including you and then someone goes, "Do you know what that means?" and you go "No, not really."
insert coin to view my status
I`ve been around the block a few times.....but only because I was too drunk to find my house.