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If suppositories were just a bit smaller, they would be a whole lot easier to swallow...........................
You can tell a lot about a womans mood by her hands. If they are holding a gun, she`s probably angry.
If I ran NASA, it would be mandatory for the ground crew to be dressed as apes when the space shuttle lands.
To everybody that is single don`t worry you will have your day ... Palm Sunday is just around the corner
I don`t think we do get smarter as we get older. I just think we run out of stupid things to do.
I don`t understand why people have to "get ready" for bed....I`m always ready for bed.
Next time a guy asks for your number, write it down in Roman numerals. If he manages to call you, he`s a keeper.
Some people should use a glue stick instead of chap stick.
The hostess said to sit wherever I want, but the couple at this table are giving each other weird looks and have totally stopped talking.
Improve your memory by doing unforgettable things.
Over the weekend I pulled a muscle getting off the couch to fetch more Doritos.
I try not to laugh at my own jokes. But we all know I`m hilarious.
I`m not anti-social I`m just pro leave me the f*ck alone.
Of course women have cleaner minds than men. They change them much more often
Idiots are fun, no wonder every village has one.