Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Lazy Fact #69302246777573 - You were too lazy to read that number.
It isn`t a successful BBQ until an intoxicated idiot runs face first into a sliding glass door. I`m fine by the way.
There’s a thin line between “I should do a status update about that” and “I should talk to a therapist about that”
There are now 4 sides to every story. Yours, mine, the truth & the Internets version.
That moment when you are having a conversation in your head and you realize you are making faces that go along with the silent conversation.
Went down the gym and burnt 1200 calories today. I forgot to take the pizza out of the oven!
I know alcohol isn`t the answer, but it`s my best guess.
My therapist just offered me my money back.
I just realised that sex is like air..its not important unless you are not getting any.
Lasagna is just spaghetti flavored cake.
Some mornings it`s best to just fill the sink with coffee, dunk your head in it, and suck.
The person before me got $0.57 worth of gas. My day doesn`t seem so bad now.
Occasionally, I like to take a look through my old status updates and smile at my sparkling wit.
If the cupcake has some green sprinkles on it, it`s a vegetable, right?
Hey, car designers, you have kids, right? How is "limo window partition" between the front and back seat not an option yet?