Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
People will do odd things to get even.
I put "extremely organized" on my resume and I don`t even remember what folder I saved it in..
"i wasn`t that drunk"..Dude!you tied me to a chair and bitch-slapped me,yelling "where`s Harry Potter!!"
There should be an "undo" button in an elevator for when you accidentally hit the wrong floor.
Some people post because they need attention and validation. Not me. (Thanks for reading this, the `Like` button is below)
I often wondered what it`d be like to be married to an idiot. I asked my wife and she said you get used to it after a while...
Running feels great unless you compare it to not running
If you never used that plastic thing that keeps pizza from sticking to the box lid as GI Joe`s poker table you`re too mature for me.
I have never been guilty of taking the smaller pizza slice.
OH I´m sorry! I didn´t realise you were giving me a dirty look. I just thought you were ugly like that all the time!
Being able to eat while watching Hannibal makes you more of a psychopath than anyone on the show.
Tampon commercials create an unrealistic expectation of how much fun it is to be around menstruating women.
The guys at Home Depot must take classes to know exactly what I meant by "the little thing next to that one piece with the round thing."
hilarious
Shout out to ATM fees for making me buy my own money.